Mugabe Elections: Morbid game of Snakes and Ladders

MUGABE ELECTIONS: A MORBID GAME OF SNAKES AND LADDERS

Zimbabwe’s elections are like playing a game of Snakes and Ladders. When it is the opposition’s turn; WALA! all the ladders are transformed into snakes. If they bit you, you go all the way back to START. When it is the ruling party candidate’s turn: WALA! all the snakes are transformed into rope ladders taking him or her straight to FINISH!

In the presidential race, things are a bit more sophisticated, it is a game of Chess. Mugabe’s opponents mesmerised, they can not see Mugabe’s King and they are not sure of the true identity of Mugabe’s other pierces as what they thought was a Pawn often changes into Queen, Knight, Bishops, etc. when it is Mugabe’s move. So opponents have found several of their own Chess pierces were missing and Mugabe had 5 Queens already! It was “Check Mate!” before they had even made one move!

The 29 March 2008 Zimbabwe elections bucked the past trend, against all the laws of probability MDC candidates kept throwing 6, after 6, after 6 taking them straight to FINISH in one turn! And in the presidential game, Tsvangirai got himself a magical Polaroid glasses that allowed him to see Mugabe’s “invisible” King and to distinguish the “real” pierces from the “illusionary” ones.

Yes of course, MDC were playing with a loaded dice – loaded by none other than Mugabe himself – with the subtle but important difference that it was heavily loaded in MDC’s favour!

After 28 years of Mugabe gross mismanagement and rampant corruption country’s economy has been totally destroyed leaving the with no food, fuel shortages, electricity and water cuts that last for weeks on end, the highest rate of inflation in the world and so the list goes on. The economic hardship Zimbabweans have faced, particularly in the last ten years, have forced the Zimbabwe electorate to rise above their fear of Zanu PF intimidation and other political machinations in their determination to vote Mugabe and his Zanu PF ruling party out of office!

Of course, Mugabe was shocked to see that the people of Zimbabwe dared to reject him. Still his dirty tricks had worked; winning over 40% of the vote was not a small achievement given the party would not have been hard pushed to get even 1% if the election had been truly free and fair. Mugabe has set himself the task of improving on the 40%.

He pays the Piper, the Zimbabwe Election Commission (ZEC), so he calls the tune. Tsvangirai’s “Check Mate!” call means nothing unless Mugabe concedes. It is now three weeks and Mugabe is still staring at the chess board and ZEC, the referee at standing quietly in the corner. He has buying himself time, the magic Polaroid glasses was a total surprise, he will see to that Tsvangirai will play the next game blindfolded! He has deployed the War Veterans and other party thugs to punish the voters for having voted for MDC in March. Just to be doubly sure they will not dare do that again. When he is good and ready, he will tell ZEC to declare the present game a draw- no one will be allowed to check whether is was indeed a draw- and call for a rerun.

As for MDC’s Parliamentary majority, a recount this weekend will reverse that. So tomorrow MDC candidates will learn that in the Zimbabwe Snakes and Ladders Election game a player is not allowed have more than three 6s in one turn; new rule in small print – watch it, the ink is not quite dry yet!

The one thing Mugabe would wish he could fix is the economy. The shop shelves are empty today; they will remain empty as long as Mugabe remains in State House. And so to will the hyper inflation and the myriad of Zimbabwe’s other economic problems. In fact they will get even worse; Mugabe has the knack of turning an intolerably bad situation even worse!

Mugabe had given himself an escape clause; the constitution now allows him to appoint his successor. In a way the arrangements say it all really- that his vote is more valuable and carries greater weight than that of all the whole electorate. Who ever the stooge should turn out to be Mugabe will be giving him/her a poisoned chalice! The immovable object, the economy will not changed by such political gimmickry!

The key to Zimbabwe’s economic recovery will be in taking back the land and all the other economic resource that have been looted by Robert Mugabe and his cronies over the last three decades and ending the mismanagement and corruption that have now become an integral part of Zimbabwe society. To do that there must be truly free and fair election first not this morbid game of snakes and ladders Mugabe has held for all these last 28 years!