Charamba says Mugabe is not responsible for Dzamara - what happened to "buck stops with President" ethos!

Mugabe’s spokesman, George Charamba, says Mugabe is not responsible for the investigation of Itai Dzamara’s disappearance. Nonsense, of course Mugabe is responsible for investigating the disappearance of Itai Dzamara if not responsible for the disappearance itself! 

 

Mugabe is the state president, the highest authority in the land; he has other officials who are responsible for carrying out the various duties including, in this case, investigating the disappearance of Itai, but when these officials fail, the buck stops with him!

 

The Zanu PF regime had a dilemma as to what to do about Itai Dzamara. When Itai started his “Occupy Africa Square” campaign demanding that Mugabe should go because he had failed; his actions throw the cat amongst the pigeons.

 

Of course Itai was right that Mugabe had failed, the worsening economic situation in the country was a daily reminder and proof of the sheer extend of that failure. The difficult for the regime was to either ignore Itai, and risk the his action and the authority’s failure to remove him inspiring other people to join him or start similar protests. The worsening economic situation made the risk of similar protest a certainty! Or remove Itai and hope that no one will notice.

 

The regime chose to make Itai “disappear” but unfortunately for it many people did notice and there increased public protest the regime had set out to avoid are now happening. People are united in their call for an end to State inspired human rights violations and the total indifference with which those in authority, right up to Mugabe himself, handle these cases.

 

The worsening economic situation, the cause Itai was protesting about, is now unbearable and it is this that in spurring all these people to see Itai as a hero. If the Zanu PF thinks the Itai protests will end soon, they are wrong; the protests are set to grow and the voices demanding his release will grow louder!

 

In Zimbabwe 90% of the people are unemployed, 76% of the population are now living on $200 per month, Zimbabwe is the second poorest nation on earth in stark contrast to its vast wealth and potential, etc. This situation is socially and politically unsustainable; the public protests or worse were a certainty; if the protests were not centred round Itai’s disappearance they would be centred round a dozen other issues but all fuelled by the one thing – the desire to end the economic meltdown!

Tsvangirai announce "first convergence" for change - forgetting the 1980 and 2008 convergence!

Morgan Tsvangirai tells the 2000 people gathered to remember and pray for Itai Dzamara’s safe return the gathers is raising the bar to stop future political abductions.

 

“For the first time, there is a convergence on what needs to be done to bring Zimbabwe back on track. We have raised the bar and never again in Zimbabwe will a person disappear without trace and nothing is done about it,” said Tsvangirai.

 

Was MDC (Movement for Democratic Change) not founded on the promise to bring democratic change in Zimbabwe? Back then in 1999 there was a convergence on change and many people have since been beaten, raped and over 500 murdered in 2008 alone. Their sacrifice did allow you, Comrade Morgan Tsvangirai and many of your MDC colleagues to get into government and cabinet and the best chance to bring about the democratic reforms.

 

For five years of the GNU MDC had the best chance this nation has had in 35 years to end this corrupt and tyrannical Zanu PF dictatorship by implementing the democratic reforms agree in the 2008 GPA. Not even one reform was implemented. Not one!

 

MDC failed to implement even one reform because Mugabe had bribed its leaders with the gravy train good life to kick the reforms into the tall grass. They accepted the bribes and kicked the reforms into the tall grass. You Mr Tsvangirai you got the $4 million Highlands mansion as party of your bribe.

 

MDC leaders sold out on the democratic reforms which, if implemented, would have stopped Zanu PF rigged the July 2013 elections; stop the lawlessness including the abduction of Itai Dzamara; etc.

 

No Mr Tsvangirai this is not the first time the people of Zimbabwe have converged to demand democratic change and justice. The first time was before independence; from the ordinary men and women in the villages who helped shelter and feed the freedom fighters, to the young men and women, the Mujimbas and Chimbidos, who acted as messengers right up to the freedom fighters and their commanders; all the people played a part is the liberation of the country.

 

Sadly, soon after independence Mugabe bribe his Zanu PF cronies with the promise of the gravy train good life if they betrayed the people’s dreams of freedom, justice, human rights and a fair share in the nation’s abundant wealth.  Just as MDC have done, Zanu PF cronies too accepted the bribe and help Mugabe build this corrupt and murderous tyrannical regime and the rest is history.

 

So there was a national political convergence to end white colonial oppression and exploitation before independence only for Mugabe and Zanu PF to betray the people and deny them their basic rights and freedoms soon thereafter. There was another national political convergence notably in 2008 to end the Zanu PF dictatorship which failed because MDC leaders sold-out.

 

Mr Tsvangirai you do not want to acknowledge the 2008 political convergence and sacrifice made by the people of Zimbabwe because you do not want to acknowledge that you and your MDC friends betrayed the people and sold-out. As a result of the rigged July 2013 elections, you and your MDC friends were kicked off the gravy train; you are calling for a new political convergence in the hope that it will propel you back into power.

 

Mr Tsvangirai you have never cared about bringing “Zimbabwe back on track” because you would have done so during the GNU when the country had its best chance ever to do so. All you have ever cared about is being on the gravy train.

 

The people of Zimbabwe have been yearning for freedom, justice, human rights and a life with dignity. They were foolish to have trust Mugabe and Zanu PF to delivery good governance in 1980; very foolish to have trusted you and MDC in 2008, considering they should have learned from the nation’s recent history; and it would be an unforgivable act of folly if the nation should trust yet again the same MDC leaders who sold-out during the GNU!  The people of Zimbabwe must now know what MDC want is a seat back on the gravy train.

Zanu PF MP cries in parliament over sanctions - just want to be a minister too!

A Zanu PF MP, Rossy Mpofu, complained why MDC have failed to apologize for inviting the sanctions. She still blames the sanctions for the country’s economic problems.

 

“... Ipoint of order yami, nxa bona (MDC) bekwazi ukuthi kasibo abasapota amaBritish why bengaxotshi amasanctions eZimbabwe (If they deny they invited sanctions on the country, why don’t they openly denounce them),” blurted out MP Mpofu during a parliamentary debate on the country’s worsening economic situation.

 

MP Mpofu was told to shut up but broke into tears!

 

The very fact that there is anyone who still believes the country's economic woes were caused by sanctions when the country's economy was already in trouble by 2002 when the sanctions were imposed; contrary to the repeated denial of corruption by the regime, there is overwhelming evidence corruption is rampant; etc. One has to be really naïve and gullible to still believe in the hen-teeth stories of sanctions are the root cause of Zimbabwe’s economic meltdown. It is worrying when the country’s political leaders and MPs are among the naive and gullible! 

The country is serious economic trouble and it is looking to MPs to chart the way out of this mess but clearly there is no hope of them doing so if they are clearly mentally impaired!

MDC Mkoba MP, Amos Chibaya, dismissed the crying Mpofu with the contempt she rightly deserved. “Haiwawo, madhimoni aya (This is a result of demons)” shouted Chibaya.

 

No doubt MP Rossy Mpofu has heard of how people like Shuva Mahofa was rewarded with a ministerial appointment for dancing like one possessed by demons; may be Mpofu is hoping to similarly rewarded by crying like one possessed. 

"Democracy is a government by the people for the people" after 35 years, Zimbabweans are still not ready for such a government!

In this life, we all have our own yoke to carry be it as an individual, family or nation. And life itself is like a game of snakes and ladders with a definite beginning, the day we are born, and a definite end, the day we die; and in between we will be rewarded with breaks and uplifting moments or dragged down and punished depending on how we are preforming.

 

Zimbabwe is a very rich country with rich lands and wonderful weather; we should be growing enough food to meet all our people’s needs and yet for the last fifteen years the nation has relied on important food aid. The country has a great abundance of minerals and other resources; our nation should be one of the wealthiest nations on earth and yet 76% of our people now live in abject poverty and prospects are things are set to get even worse.

 

Each generation has its own trials and tribulations to deal with, its yoke to bear. For the post-independence Zimbabwe generation our task was to deliver the freedom, justice, human rights and economic prosperity the nation had risked life and limb to attain. The task was simple enough to state but, as the facts on the ground now show, clearly not so easy to accomplish.

 

Zimbabwe is in a political and economic mess, the facts on the ground speak for themselves. Mugabe and Zanu PF will give you an earful of excuses why this has happened. But to rephrase the set challenge of the post-independence generation; it was to ensure the nation delivered freedom, justice, etc. to all and no excuses.

 

After 35 years of relentless match deeper and deeper into this political and economic hell whatever Mugabe has to say to explain why the country is in such a mess is both pathetic and irrelevant. His usual excuse that it the sanctions imposed by the West that have cause the country’s economic woes, for example, are just noise. Because if Mugabe has failed to come up with ways round these sanctions, after 35 years with the country is such a mess it is self-evident that he has indeed failed; then the people reserve the democratic right to find someone else able to find a way out.

 

It is deeply regrettable that the people themselves have allowed the nation to be dragged into such depths of hopelessness and despair for all these 35 years.

 

When the country attained her independences all those 35 years ago the people were given the greatest gift, which used wisely would have guaranteed all their other desires, freedom, justice, etc., the right to vote. Sadly the people have allowed Mugabe and Zanu PF to cheat them and deny them a meaningful democratic vote.

 

At the very heart of Zimbabwe’s political and economic mess is the Mugabe mantra of “no regime change”. The country has held regular elections but Mugabe has done everything; undermined democratic institutions, disregarded the law, rigged elections, intimidated and beat the voters and even murdered thousands to ensure there was no regime change.

 

The mistake the people of Zimbabwe have made is to make it easy for Mugabe to deny them their right to a meaningful vote. In the last 35 years the people have had many opportunities to reclaim their right to a meaningful vote, the best chance being during the GNU, but they have wasted all the chances.

 

During the GNU the people made fundamental mistake of electing the corrupt and incompetent MDC to implement the democratic reforms; not even one reform was ever implemented. The people themselves did not understand what the required reforms were and, not surprisingly, they elected politicians who too did not know what the reforms were.  

 

It was US President Abraham Lincoln who said “democracy is government by the people for the people.”

 

It is clearly that the people of Zimbabwe are not ready for democratic rule and thus per se elect to have the corrupt and oppressive Zanu PF dictatorship. After 35 years one would have thought that the people had suffered enough to want change but clearly they have not.

 

In this world we are rewarded for making the right decision and punished for making the wrong ones. For the last 35 years Zimbabweans has done nothing to ensure the country had good government and have paid dearly for and we will continue to pay dearly for this until we take the challenge of good governance with the seriousness it deserves!

 

It last month’s by-elections the voter turnout was as low as 5% showing that the 1985 to 1999 days of voter apathy are back again. Voter apathy changed nothing then it will not change anything now. When the voters have suffered enough they will re-engage, hopefully, this time they will hopefully pay full attention on the democratic reforms and whatever else the country needs for a healthy and functional democracy.

 

Zimbabwe is independent and it is up to us and no one else to make sure the country is properly governed!

Biti offers new economic plan, "HOPE" but with no political reforms first call it hopeless!

A few weeks ago Tendai Biti, the only one in all the MDC factions who has shown that he has a few working brain cells left, admitted to and even apologized to the nation for MDC’s “collective foolishness”. MDC can be rightly called a party of blundering fools because they have blundered from pillar to post.

The most recent blunder by both the MDC-Renewal led by Biti and the MDC-T led by Tsvangirai was the gifting of 14 MPs seat to Zanu PF in the 10 June 2015 by-elections. The Biti faction was foolish in breaking away knowing fully well that would trigger the need for by-election if the MDC-T should exercise their right to recall the breakaway members.

MDC-Renewal’s blunder was in failing to anticipate the recall. It was Tendai Biti who assured the other breakaway members that they will never be recalled. “If that happened, I will change my name to Morgan Mugabe!” said Biti. It was the collective foolishness bug at work because, as we now know, the recall happened.

For MDC-T the collective amnesia was is asking for the rebel seats to be recalled knowing fully well that they would not try to win back the seats since the party had already passed a congress resolution to boycott elections until the reforms they wanted implemented are implemented. Surely it was better for the Zimbabwe opposition cause to have the 14 seats in the opposition camp than in the ruling Zanu PF party.

The worst case of MDC “collective foolishness” was in their failure to get even one reform implemented throughout the five years of the GNU. MDC’s foolishness knows no bounds, because it is over these same reforms, they failed to implement, that they are boycotting the elections.

The immediate consequence of this failure was that Zanu PF was able to rig the July 2013 resulting in the landslide victory for Mugabe and Zanu PF costing MDC leaders their gravy train position in government.

For the nation at large economic consequence of have the same corrupt and incompetent Zanu PF regime back in power was a 35% Zimbabwe Stock Exchange shares drop the next day after the election results were known. The national economy has continued the downward spiral these last two years as more and more companies have closed pushing unemployment into the stratosphere of 90%. 76% of the people now live on $200 per month or less; far short of the $500 Poverty Datum Line.

“If left to continue, the current situation will lead to cannibalism where human beings will resort to eating human flesh,” Tendai Biti told his supporters in Chitungwiza.

“Most of the deaths being witnessed in the country are either due to starvation or stress related ailments like High Blood Pressure, hypertension and heart attack, because of the economic, political and social decay we are witnessing.

“Going to funerals to pay condolences is now some form of formal employment because many people are stressed up to a level where the strain takes their lives”.

Yes Mr Biti, but why are you telling them things they already know and can see with their own eyes? Why are you not telling them that they would not be in all this mess if you and your MDC friends had implemented the reforms? And whilst still at it, tell the people that the nation will never ever got out of the mess as long as change is being championed by corrupt and incompetent whose “collective foolishness” knows no limit.

 

“The Renewal Team will, among other issues, launch an economic blue print Holistic Program for Economic Transformation (HOPE), that will outline the party’s strategy on curbing unemployment, attracting Foreign Direct Investment and dealing with external debt,” continued Tendai Biti.

The economic blue print will also proffer the infrastructure expansion and development plan,” he said, urging government to move quickly to repeal the contentious indigenisation laws.

Some people’s mental amnesia is influence by the moon but the “collective foolishness” of MDC leaders is a free agent that knows not about the moon and its cycle. Biti would not be talking all this nonsense of yet another economic blue print if his madness gave him even a few days respite each lunar cycle.

Tendai Biti should know that MDC-T’s economic blue print, RESTART, in the 2013 elections never saw the light of day because Mugabe and Zanu PF won that election. As long as Zanu PF remains in power no one else’s economic blue print will ever see the light of day.

Since Zanu PF rigged the July 2013 elections it follows that the party is in power on the basis of its ability to rig elections and not because the electorate like its own ZimAsset economic blue print. ZimAsset is died and, frankly, Mugabe has never placed any real hope in it ever delivering the 2.2 million new jobs it promised. He knew his election victory was totally dependent on his ability to rig the vote!

So as long as who will form the country’s next government is decided on one thing and one thing only - who is able to rig the elections - what is the point of producing all these economic plans with all the fancy names ZimAsset, RESTART and now HOPE? There is absolutely no point in talking about economic plans or recovery until we have dealt with the political problem of Zanu PF’s ability to rig elections.

Until we implement all the democratic reforms agreed in the 2008 GPA, everyone agreed then these were all necessary for free, fair and credible elections and stopping Zanu PF rigging elections; nothing of any substance will ever be achieved. It was infinitely easily to get the reforms implemented during the GNU when Mugabe obliged to under the GPA.

Now with the GPA expired, it will be tough to pressure Mugabe and Zanu PF to get all the reforms implemented. Tough as that is, this is the task before us and we must keep our eyes on that ball.

The nation wasted its best chance yet to implement all the democratic reforms because of the “collective foolishness” of Tendai Biti and his fellow MDC leaders who failed to get even one reform implemented. And today Tendai Biti is once again threatening the process of having the reforms finally implemented by going off at a tangent offering his HOPE economic blue print which, without the political reforms, will never be tested! He is offering hope by offering a hopeless solution!

After their inexcusable betrayal of the people during the GNU the best thing Biti and the rest of the MDC crew should have done is apologize and resign. They have proven beyond all doubt that they are corrupt and incompetent, the “collective foolishness” as Biti called; serious faults over which one will be forced to resign immediately in a healthy and functional democracy.

 

In Zimbabwe corrupt, incompetent and self-confessed fools have a field day; instead of resigning over their past record of failures and blunders they are all out campaigning for re-election! Actually what the nation needs above all else to get out of this political and economic mess is a savvy electorate. One cannot deny that it was the “collective foolishness” of the electorate that made them elect corrupt and incompetent MDC leaders into power in the first place. It would be folly for the Zimbabwe electorate to re-elect the same corrupt and incompetent individuals back into office but that is one thing one cannot rule out!

 

Zimbabweans are suffering greatly under the worsening economic situation. But to deal with this problem is like cutting down a tree; if it takes five hours to cut down the tree, four hours was spend sharpening the axe. Before we can deal with the economic meltdown we need a savvy electorate competent to elect leaders who will get all the democratic reforms implemented because nothing will ever be achieved as long as Zanu PF is free to rig elections.

A warning from history for Mugabe and his hardliners time is running out for them to accept peaceful regime change!

When former ambassador and deputy minister, Amos Midzi, reportedly committed suicide last month it was no secret that he was up to his eyes in debt. That had not been a problem whilst he remained a senior member of Zanu PF; the situation completely changed as soon as he was kicked out of the party, in the on-going purge of former VP Mujuru supporters.

 

Mai Mujuru herself is now being sued by a little known banker who wants to recover some farm the Mujurus took away from him. Whilst she was VP, he did not dare sue her but now that she has been kicked out of the party, she is fair game!

 

The truth of the matter is the economic meltdown is hitting everyone including the Zanu PF chefs. However, unlike the rest of us, the chefs – as long as they remain in their senior party position - have access to all manner of direct and indirect assistance and they have the gravitas to tell their creditors to buzz off. 

 

The chefs are like the boy scouts who pack up all the troubles in the old kitbag and smile but on one very strict condition, they retain their senior Zanu PF position! It was this strict conditionality that prompted the The Sunday Mail columnist, Bishop Lazarus, to comment that Zanu PF chefs cannot survive without the party.

 

"Can Zanu-PF politicians who hold high offices in the party survive outside Zanu-PF?” asked Lazarus.

"Can Zanu-PF members who were fortunate to be appointed as Ministers, Deputy Ministers and so on survive outside Government?”

These were rhetorical questions for we already know the answer to both questions is a resounding no.

 

So the economic meltdown is affecting everyone including the senior Zanu PF leaders, they are not suffering yet but only because they are on pain killers. The rest of us including ordinary Zanu PF members and party hardliners, do not have access to the pain killers, are really suffering now.

 

Unemployment has reached a record 90% and yet even more companies are set to close; 76% of the population are living on $200 or less per month; etc. All these things point to irrefutable conclusion – the present situation is not socially and politically sustainable. The Zanu PF dictatorship is not socially and politically sustainable; regime change is the only way out. 

 

But after 35 years of enjoying absolute political power and all the social and economic benefits that it brought; it is not surprising that Mugabe, the lucky few senior party members with access to the pain killers and the party’s hardliners are more determined than ever to resist regime change. In their futile effort to hang on to power Mugabe et al have turned the heat on all those purged out of the party whom they now consider to be their greatest political threat, particularly with the likes of Didymus Mutasa spilling the beans of the party’s dirty secrets!

 

 “These guys have now employed scotched earth tactics in their desperate bid to completely destroy Mai Mujuru and all her allies so that they are not a political threat come 2018. They are afraid of the knowledge that these liberation struggle stalwarts have of Zanu PF.

 

“It has not helped that (opposition leader Morgan) Tsvangirai now says he could work with Mai Mujuru, while the likes of (former Presidential Affairs minister Didymus) Mutasa and others are threatening to spill the beans on Zanu PF. They (Zanu PF hardliners) want to decapitate the whole group (Mujuru camp).”

 

It’s very sad,” a senior Zanu PF official said.

 

The real tragedy here is their blind determination to retain this unsustainable corrupt and tyrannical Zanu PF dictatorship, Mugabe et al are dragging the whole nation deeper and deeper into hell just as the Japanese hardliners did in 1945.

 

By the Spring of 1945 the Japanese had effectively been defeated, at sea, in air and had been routed out of all the countries they had controlled until then. Japan was nothing but a sitting duck totally at the mercy of the American military might and yet the Japanese hardliners would not condescend surrender!

 

 “There is still time, but little time, for the Japanese to save themselves from the destruction that threatens them,” US President Harry Truman warned in ultimatum. 

 

“The loss of one day relative to this matter (ignoring the ultimatum) may result in a thousand years of regret,” warned the voices of reason amongst the Japanese.

 

A month after President Truman’s ultimatum all hell broke loose, for the Japanese that is, when the nuclear bomb was dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima.

 

Mugabe and his hardliners are wasting time fighting the purged Zanu PF members because they are but a spend force; the real big threat to the nation is from the havoc the economic meltdown is causing. The economic meltdown is the nuclear bomb that threatens all Zimbabweans today and, irony of all ironies, it is Mugabe himself after 35 years of unrelenting mismanagement and corrupt who made this bomb!

 

There is still time, but little time, for Mugabe and his hardliners to accept regime change and save this nation from the consequences of that change being forced down their throats. Because one way or the other they will ultimately have to accept the reality that this Zanu PF dictatorship is unsustainable!

US Congressman advise Tsvangirai to abandon election boycott and "test the process" - not when you do not know what you testing for!

US Congressman Gregory Simpkins, who is on a fact finding visit in Zimbabwe, has derided MDC-T leader Morgan Tsvangirai’s recent boycott of elections.  

“Oftentimes we have heard the opposition saying it is tough to compete, they have to find a way of being effective rather than just saying it is too tough to compete so we are not going to take part. If you do not take part in an election process, how can you criticise something that you did not even test?” said Congressman Simpkins.

“When you test the process you can say we tried to register our candidates or observers were turned away, you can point to examples. If you are not a part of it at all, then it is as good as there is no opposition.”

Damn good advice that but sadly on someone like Tsvangirai, it is all wasted!

Putting aside Senior Congressman Simpkins’ argument for a minute; what also makes MDC election boycott a nonsense is the fact that it was none other than the MDC leaders themselves who failed to implement even one democratic reform in their five years in the GNU. So they are now boycotting elections demanding “No reforms no elections!” when it was their fault that not even one reform was implemented during the GNU.

 Now to go back to Congressman Simpkins; MDC have tested the process but learnt absolutely nothing from the experience!

A few weeks ago former Zanu PF minister Didymus Mutasa told a South African newspaper that Zanu PF had been rigging elections and gave details of how Tsvangirai had won the March 2008 presidential race. Zanu PF had been “shocked” at the result, he said. The real eye-opener was MDC’s reaction to Mutasa’s revelations; they were shocked and wanted to meet Comrade Mutasa to learn more details.

MDC have been the victim of Zanu PF’s blatant vote rigging and yet they did not know anything about it!

MDC have acknowledged that following the March 2008 elections, Zanu PF’s Nicholas Goche on behalf of President Mugabe and Zanu PF met MDC leaders to discuss post elections power sharing arrangements. MDC had responded positively and asked Goche for a list of ten Zanu PF leaders MDC was willing to include in a MDC led government. Zanu PF stopped the talks suddenly with no explanation and after five weeks of dilly-dallying the party finally announced the presidential election results.

Lo and behold, Tsvangirai’s win had now been reduced to less than the 50% plus 1 demanded to avoid a presidential run-off.

Although MDC had made some noise about the handling of the March 2008 elections, the party had failed to produce anything specific, and the matter soon died away. It was Comrade Mutasa’s statement that has breathed a new life to reality of Zanu PF rigging the March 2008 results; MDC had clearly failed to smell the rat.

In the July 2013 elections Comrade Mutasa said Zanu PF’s Finance Minister Patrick Chinamasa had bussed in voters. Comrade Mutasa said he reported the vote rigging activity to the relevant officials, ZEC, at the time. He must have had the evidence to back this up; evidence MDC was now keen to get from him.

What is shocking is there were many stories from every corner of the country of Zanu PF bussing in voters for the July 2013 elections but, sadly, there was only anecdotal evidence. MDC had once again failed to collect any hard evidence themselves which was why the now wanted to meet Mutasa who had collected some evidence.  

Congressman Simpkins, MDC “test the process”, as you put it, but because they have repeatedly failed to collect any hard evidence of vote rigging Zanu PF has gone on to blatantly rig one election after another.

Throughout the GNU MDC leaders were advised to implement the democratic reforms but they paid no heed. So your excellent advice, Congressman Simpkins, will fall on deaf ears too!

Former US Ambassador to Zimbabwe Chris Dell, 2004 to 2007, said in a leaked cable that MDC leader Morgan Tsvangirai was “a flawed and indecisive character”. The Ambassador has been proven right a thousand times over every year as Tsvangirai has blundered from pillar to post.

What is the point of advising Tsvangirai to “test the process”! He has no clue what to look for in the process and, as we all know, “If you do not know what you are looking for you are not bloody likely to find it!”